Let’s face it, some advice really stinks!
What’s the WORST advice you received on job loss or job hunting?
I’m compiling a top 10 (or maybe I should call it bottom 10) list and so I’m asking for input. Entries selected will be paid $25 to be included in Escape from Unemploymentville book.
But first let me answer the question myself.
The WORST job loss/job hunting advice I received was…
“Don’t feel bad.”
This advice came from a few family members and friends who I won’t name. It also came in a few variations, such as: “You shouldn’t feel bad.” Here is why this advice sucked, because I did feel bad and if, the person talking to me was correct that I shouldn’t be feeling bad, then I was doing something I wasn’t supposed to and must be a further disappointment to said family and friends. Don’t feel bad, is ridiculous, like saying, don’t feel pain.
The only way to get over feeling bad about losing your job or not getting a job offer, or even an interview, is to acknowledge that you do in fact feel bad. You may feel like total dog doo in fact. This is normal. It’s okay to feel bad. The best strategy I found was to admit I was feeling sorry for myself and to just decide how long I wanted to mope for. This time varied depending on what had happened and varied from as short as 15 minutes to a whole day (with relapses allowed the next day).
In hindsight when I was back at work and feeling my usual chipper self I could see that what these friends and family folk were TRYING to say was, “I am proud of who you are and I want you to feel proud of who you are also, not feel bad” or possibly they may have had a bad day themselves and frankly not felt up to seeing my sad frowny face, so maybe “don’t feel bad” meant “I can’t stand to see you sad right now, so please, don’t feel bad.”
Whatever the motive, it doesn’t work like that. You can’t command the blues away. Repressed feelings lead to all kinds of ailments, some physical, some emotional. So if you feel bad, go for it. One person mentioned driving around in their car screaming at the top of their lungs just to get it out of their system. Now that’s feeling bad in style!
YOUR TURN — What’s the WORST job loss or job hunting advice you received. You can respond in the comments below or send an email to admin at unemploymentville.com with a Subject Line of “Worst Advice”.