First, who the hell is Helga?

Helga is the naysayer voice in my head. I heard someone talk about how we all have such a voice and she had named her voice, Helga. I passed the name on to the Debbie Downer in my head as well.

Helga has kept me from writing a single blog post in the last week even though I found/made time to plant a vegetable garden and clean two kitchen cabinets out. I mean, really, ME, cleaning kitchen cabinets instead of writing? Something is seriously wrong with that and I’m throwing the gauntlet down and having it out, here, publicly with Helga.

Anne: So Helga, what was that you were saying about Unemploymentville.com?
Helga: I said it’s a dumb idea because people like WINNERS, they want to root for winners, to associate with winners. Why do you think that the baseball teams with the worst records in the league have all the empty seats? Why call it Unemploymentville? Why not, “Losers ‘R Us”? You can build it, but no one will come.

Still Helga: (she’s on a roll) Besides, I would think that YOU, Miss Positive Attitude, would want people to use some of that It’s-all-how-you-look-at-it Positive Psychology Crap. You know, like how people suggest that you say things like, “I’m excited to be on the job market again.” Or “I just finished a contract and am exploring my next options.” Or at least, “I’m between jobs.”

Anne: People need a place to say how they really feel. A place they don’t have to wear a brave face.
Helga: So what? you build the blog, forum, private Facebook group and everyone runs around saying, “Ain’t it awful” — Good luck with that!

Anne: If people want to say, “this sucks!” or “ain’t it awful”, if that’s where they are at, they need to be able to say it. They need to be heard.

One day when I was out of work I went to talk to someone about doing their website. I was full of enthusiasm and ideas and questions on what they would like best and… it turned out I was their Plan B. They had already picked someone to do their website who had an impressive e-commerce portfolio and I was their backup. To their credit, they insisted on picking up the check for the meal we shared.

I drove home and sat in the driveway and said out loud, “I am in a far darker place than I have ever been before.” I was out of unemployment benefits. I had landed, then accepted two job offers, only to have them canceled on me for no apparent reason and it just felt dark, like there was no place to go from where I was. It was right about that time that I read The Up Side of Down: Why Failing Well Is the Key to Success and Reset: How to Beat the Job Loss Blues.

Helga: Anne, STOP! Don’t you hear what you just said, ‘BEAT the Job Loss Blues’ and ‘Key to Success‘ — people want WINNING FORMULAS. I rest my case.

Anne: Dammit, Helga. You stop. That’s what’s wrong, if everyone just wants to hear about winners and that is all anyone is talking about, then where the hell does that leave the person who feels like they are failing, failing, failing. It makes them feel like NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT THEM!

Still Anne: (now I’m on a roll) But I’ll give you one thing. You are right that Unemploymentville can’t just be an ain’t-it-awful hand wringing. If you think of Unemploymentville as a place. A place you got stuck at, sort of like the bus you were traveling on broke down in the middle of nowhere and you don’t know if you are going to get to your planned destination and yes, that sucks. But hey, there is a coffee shop around the corner where a cute guy serves hot, delicious coffee and the food is good. It ain’t all awful, but it sure as hell is NOT all good and so maybe people want to share stories on how to make their time in this place. A place, they didn’t choose to be in, as good as it can be.

Helga: Okay, so get off your soapbox and make this thing happen.